It frees us from the shame others would dump on us for suffering from the consequences of something we did not choose and most certainly do not deserve.It gives us the power of understanding that enables maturing and self responsibility.We constantly question ourselves, doubt ourselves, dismiss or minimise our true feelings, hear punishing or inwardly threatening or accusing voices including suicidal ones. In his book the psychotherapist, Donald Kalsched explains how children traumatised in this way come to be possessed by an inner accusing figure that turns themselves against their self or acts to protect them from further upset and abuse by blocking out relationship and sometimes telling the person to end their life. As a result of being told you are a cry baby, too emotional, just too sensitive, too deep. Two days ago I had a very powerful attack which was exacerbated when speaking to those who in invalidating made my physical symptoms even more acute.Even when the promise of a healthy relationship free of abuse is offered the person will doubt it and hear inner voices telling them to kill it off for fear of being traumatised again. Acceptance and internalisation of criticism whether or not it is valid. Suppression of emotions until they explode out in fits of screaming, crying or yelling. Suppression of emotions to the extent that one somatises them. All the symptoms disappeared when I spoke to a therapist who was able to validate and reflect back to where I was, who I was and how I was feeling.That my friends is invalidation among other things.The man got out of the drivers side of the car and helped me up.
If you are excited about something, and they say "Yes., but" or "You're crazy" or "You are always so emotional and out of control", that may be invalidation.
The study found that a history of emotion invalidation (i.e., a history of childhood psychological abuse and parental punishment, minimization, and distress in response to negative emotion) was significantly associated with emotion inhibition (i.e., ambivalence over emotional expression, thought suppression, and avoidant stress responses).
Understanding the impact of a lack of emotional validation has been essential for me in healing from the terrible symptoms of internalised self invalidation which led to addiction.
Today I am speaking of the silent abuse: INVALIDATION. Women who are under this colorless veil of silent abuse will often awaken in the morning depressed. If they ask everyone in the room what they would like to drink but they don't ask you, that is invalidation.
I went through years of silent abuse, thinking if I tried harder, if I was nicer it would work, I would change and please my husband. I think silent abuse is the worst of all abuses because you don't see it, but it weights you down like heavy bags of sand on your shoulders.