“It’s better to project warmth.” To figure out if your email is coming across as genuine, try reading it out loud.If it sounds conversational—like something you’d actually say face to face—then you’re on the right track.Everyone is intrigued by a person who’s had an unusual experience—it makes for more surprising small talk and anecdotes they can remember—so don’t hesitate to mention your huge collection of cheesy salt shakers, your speed-walking trophy, the fact that you grew up on a commune or anything else that may make someone just curious enough to write back and find out more.“If you have a super-weird hobby or interest, let people find out your interesting sides,” says Cherie Burbach, author of and showed an interest in Pedro Almodovar movies.After all, most people’s profiles don’t exactly give you a ton of material to work with, do they? Ask yourself if what you’re writing sounds completely original.So how do you cobble together something from a pile of nothing? If not, the person you’re contacting probably has 10 emails just like yours sitting on the computer screen. Even though you’re writing to someone out of the blue, do so with the belief that this person would be lucky to have you. Your profile ultimately does the selling; your email just has to pique their interest.Case history: “I’ve hit reply when a guy calls me, in a smart-aleck way, on something I’ve said in my profile.One guy said ‘You say you love your i Pod and the sand, so remind me never to lend you my i Pod before you wreck it at the beach! If someone challenges me in a fun way, it makes me feel like I have to defend myself.
” —Steven Gartland, Poughkeepsie, NY Love lesson: It’s so simple, but when people are working to impress another person, they can forget to focus on, well, that other person.But I’ve come to believe that men, specifically, say they want funny and original. But I wonder if there’s anything more to it than my own personal experience.But when it comes to acting on that statement, most of them don’t. In fact, I think I’m posting this on JDaters Anonymous.Too many guys are too glib and just try to outwit me.The truth is, if you’re on the site, you’re admitting that you’re looking for love, so be proud about saying what you really want.
Well, you can start by remembering these three basic rules: It’s not that “You’ve got a great smile, let’s go out sometime” is a bad opener. I read your profile and thought it was really amazing. So please look at my profile and if you like what I had to say, write back to me when you get a chance. If you’re too complimentary in that initial email, you can come off as desperate and needy. Still, the question remains: how do you say something original and flirty?